It is quite the bittersweet ending. I wanted to tell you all once it was official, which would have been yesterday, but I just can't wait any longer. My last post alluded to something that I still have conflicted feelings over. It is a great sigh of relief and cause for excitement, but it is also a source of new worries with a hint of sadness. As you all have been well aware of since the beginning, my sailor has had trouble adjusting to Navy life. He liked nuke school, but hated the system. He liked the fleet, but hated the system. A never ending tale of repetitive disappointment. Not so much for me but for my sailor. I can't say I'm disappointed. I'm impressed he left to begin with so anything he has done since then has impressed me. I am more proud of him now then I ever was. I enjoyed almost everything about his journey and what it has done for us. Aside from mental breakdowns and having an insane crush on a midshipwoman for two weeks, of course. That story still makes me want to vomit. Still can't get mad though, we both have had our downfalls with each other being away. But that's not why I'm here today.
If you didn't figure it out by now I'll just come out with it. My sailor is coming home. Forever. Honorably discharged for "general" reasons. Thank God its honorable. That was my one rule for him getting out - it had to be honorable. Sometime in mid-October Anthony will be returning home to a place which now seems like some sort of miniature heaven to him. His family, friends, cars, me, and freedom. What more could a guy ask for? I could name a few thousand things but for this sailor we'll take it one step at a time. It will be very bizarre having him home where I can see him in ten minutes if I wanted to. He said himself that it will take some time for him to get back in the swing of things and to get used to me beside him. Cooking for him and showering him with love will seem strange for awhile. It's been quite awhile since we've been able to be together without thinking of how long it will be until next time. Being together more often then not is a concept we're both going to need some time to understand.
It has been an incredible journey. We learned so much about ourselves and things we thought we knew. I could fill a book with all the life lessons. It is truly a blessing. I couldn't have asked for a better Navy experience for Anthony. He got to go through boot camp, excel in A School, see a portion Power School, and hit the fleet all in one year. And no deployment! Just a few under-ways! What a perfectly well-rounded Navy experience. Anthony still wishes he could have had another shot at Power School but that's just not how it works. It's still a bummer. Sometimes I wish he could have liked it. I wish he could have not had problems with the system. He did, however, enjoy the nuke school environment and the mechanics of his job aboard the Wasp. I know he is smart enough and perfectly capable of handling the Navy but his pride, high standards and morals wouldn't let him. Which isn't all that bad. I like his high standards and morals. It's what makes him desirable and different. It's what makes him my favorite person. However, I will always wonder if me marrying him and moving on base would have helped him cope. I will always wonder if I could have helped him even more, if I could have kept him in the Navy. These questions will linger forever as there will not be a chance to find out.
As for the status of me right now, I've just started my senior year of college. I received more scholarship money this time but am on my own for next semester. The engagement setting Anthony and I picked out has been sized and is currently hiding in my house until my sailor comes home. Then I'll pass it over to him to finish and hold onto until the time comes. I've already been writing things down and getting my network together for the big day. I don't want to forget certain things like what songs I want played at the reception, potential photographers/videographers, etc. I'm way ahead of myself but it can't hurt to keep things in mind. I've also been working on getting Anthony to agree to wear his uniform for the ceremony. He's been reluctant so far but it's a work in progress. He's slowly beginning to consider it. As for family situations my dad isn't really happy that Anthony is getting out of the Navy so soon. He's an Army vet from back in Vietnam so he's still bitter about the whole thing. Oh well, tough cookies for him.
So my journey as a Navy Girlfriend will be coming to a close. It was good while it lasted but it will be even better once it's over. I will have my former sailor home with me right where he should be. I am grateful for the experience and recommend it to others. I'm just happy that this journey is doing a 180. Lord only knows how much longer we could have lasted being away from each other. We learned that we are a unique couple capable of overcoming grand obstacles. We learned that we understand eachother's boundaries and qwerks better then our families do. We learned that we are stronger together then we are apart. There will be new challenges once Anthony returns home but we will face them together. Together, a tool we did not have for 14 months. A tool we managed to survive without but just by the skin of our teeth. It was a good ride, but I'm sure glad we can get off and go home now.
Thank you all so much for following my story! Best of luck to all sailors and their families!
I will continue to keep my blog open for future readers.
