Anthony has so, so much family to see while he was home for those short five days. We attended four parties: three Christmas parties and one just for Anthony. Anthony's party was Saturday, Sunday was dinner with my parents, then came Christmas eve at his aunt's, Christmas night at my sister's, and the day after Christmas at his grandpop's party. We were both on family overload. So many nice-to-meet-you's and how-have-you-been's. I definitely enjoyed seeing all the people we did, from aunts and uncles to friends, cousins, and great grandmothers. Poor Anthony had to keep answering all the same questions over and over. One person would ask a set of questions, and then another the same set, and another, and so on. All the "Was it what you expected? What are you doing now? Have you been on a ship yet? When are you coming back?" Even I was getting tired of hearing the same questions over and over. It really was great seeing all the family though, as well as opening presents with each other.
We squeezed so much into such little time. Not to mention Anthony had his own business at home to take care of. By that I mean his car he is driving back to Goose Creek. In fact he is driving as I type right now. His car was sitting at a friend's shop since he left and was being repaired recently so he could take it down. Anthony had to get new registration, insurance, and inspection squared away. Thankfully it all worked out and he his on his merry way. He will be so happy to have a car at NNPTC. No more taxis! I'm still nervous about him making it all the way with no problems. It's not a new car either, its a '90s model. On top of this Anthony was progressively getting ill from the moment he set foot in Jersey. He barely got to indulge in all the holiday foods. If he was feeling well he would have had such a full belly the entire time he was home. I felt so bad for the poor boy. He loves to eat so much and could barely keep anything in.
I already miss him terribly. It was just last night that we said goodbye to each other. This time it was particularly hard because nobody knows when we will see him again. I couldn't hold it in. I even cried on him the night before because I knew he was leaving soon. Since Anthony is a manly man he doesn't cry...or so he would like to say. When he sees me cry I can see his eyes slowly become glassy. He tries to hold it in for sake of keeping together his manly man-ness. Since I'm a woman I am naturally emotional and just let it all flow out. I was really upset that he had to go back. Then, this morning, something strange happened. I woke up and was not upset. Anthony's visit had been filed away as the past. It was as if he was already back in SC. I wanted to be terribly upset still. It was as if my mind was already back in the setting of Anthony not being home. I had my cry-fest the night he left, especially after he pulled away from my house, waving as he went along. I could still feel his hugs and kisses but I did not shed another tear. I guess somehow, overnight, I accepted reality and moved forward with it even though Anthony was still just twenty minutes away packing up his car.
When I think about it for a moment I can remember what it felt like to wake up in Jersey with Anthony next to me. I can remember driving us from one relative's house to another. I can remember all the things we did and how wonderful it felt to have him home. I can even feel his warmth and his touch if I think hard enough. I can remember how much it hurt to watch him drive away, knowing there was nothing I could do to make him never leave again. Then I go back to my state of mind where this new life is an acceptable way to live. Where two people with a great relationship can survive being so far apart. Where couples who argue can still see each other everyday and yet we cannot. It truly isn't fair but it is what makes us different. It is what will make us stronger. I had never smiled so much than in the past five days.
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