Summer Break

Hello all,

      I just wanted to let you know that I won't be posting as often this summer. Things are very much up in the air and I need time to collect everything together into a concise thought. Also, I will be on a couple vacations so I will be away from the internet for quite some time. While my relationship remains stable with my sailor his relationship with the Navy is not. Anthony isn't the same since his most recent trip out to see. He returned this morning and was very different from when he left. We both saw this change emerging when he left and now it is full blown. He still holds onto his hope of leaving the Navy for good. An option, which I think, is truly the best for him. If he stays in the Navy he won't come out alive. If only he had consulted me before he made the decision to join, this whole situation could have been avoided. I would have pointed out to him all the ways in which he is not compatible with military life. I do realize that he needed to go in order to find out that it wouldn't work. The Navy also helped him to appreciate the life he had before and how important all the people are who love him. As for now we are trying to come to a peaceful agreement so he can make his way back home. I will return when I have a better grip on the situation. Until then, good luck to all sailors and their families.

I Feel Like Reminiscing...

   Hello, all! How about this crazy weather lately? Rain and tropical storms and not a good beach weekend yet. It's June and I haven't seen the beach on a nice summer day. What the heck! Anywho, things are going rather well for my sailor. He came back safe and sound from being "under way" out in the Atlantic. It was a good experience for him. He didn't have many complaints other than the tiring 6-6 shift. He managed to stay on top of his sleep thanks to nuke school. There he was inadvertently prepared to run off less sleep in the fleet. For the first time, Anthony said he liked what he was doing. That is such a big relief for me. Enjoying his job is the best thing possible after knowing how unhappy he was in nuke school. It's was we as humans strive for. Needless to say I am thrilled that I can breathe easy. Of course, I couldn't hold back as I bombarded him with questions about his first journey. He told me about working in the engine room and fixing oil leaks. He told me about how he stood up for himself and his shipmates on a few occasions, of which I was very proud. He told me about how the boat moves in the water and how dark it is at night. I was hanging on his every word. I can't wait for him to get underway again.
   We have another milestone today! My dearest best bud who left for boot camp in April is graduating today! As I type the ceremony is probably coming to a close. It has made me very reminiscent lately. I've been thinking back to Anthony's graduation and how far he's come since then. I remember everything about his big day; where we sat, the shuttle we took there (which was really an SUV), the musty hotel room, the aura of the base, how we got yelled at when an escorting sailor opened the door to the hanger too early. I remember walking by someone who had the same dress on as me and we eyeballed each other. I remember trembling as I video-taped nearly the entire ceremony. I remember how I felt like I could pass out when I spotted Anthony on the screen of my camera. Nothing else in life mattered in those moments. I can imagine how my best bud's mom feels, and his dad and whoever else went. Such a time of joy and pride! I will never ever forget that day for the rest of my life.
   Also as I type, my favorite sailor is driving home to visit! Yay for the first weekend visit! He already said there is traffic, but oh well. Hopefully he'll be here by dinner time. We've got a lot to catch up on. Now that the Navy scene is no longer a major issue, the next major issue makes me squeasy. For some time Anthony and I have been going back and forth on the wedding subject. He wants it asap and I want to wait until we have the money for a regular church ceremony and reception. He's been battling me on this but I'm not budging. It's every girl's dream and I'm going to get my too dammit! It's too soon for this kind of conversation anyway, I don't have the ring yet. Still waiting for the jewelers to call and tell me it's here. Any day now! Until then we'll keep it brief but also be sure we're on the same page. It's coming soon, I can tell!
     

Weigh Anchor!

Yay!

   Finally, the day after my sailor's 23rd birthday, Anthony set sail! Yahoo! Aboard the first vessel built to carry helicopters, Anthony will take a one week journey to North Carolina and back. He said its for "sea trials", whatever that may mean. All I know is this is what Anthony has really been wanting since he left. Not his first choice of vessel but oh well, its better than schooling. I'm so happy that he is finally on a ship out at sea. I'm even more happy that it is only for one little week. Just enough time for my sailor to get his feet wet (no pun intended). Sleeping on board, working in the engine room, wearing the coveralls instead of the working uniform, the whole nine yards. Things have been going much better in Norfolk then at NNPTC. Anthony says he has had three people mistake him for a midshipman. Which means that Anthony puts off the vibe that he is training to be an officer. Perhaps others think this because of his speech or the way he carries himself. I'm glad they see him differently than the other MMs. Being a former Nuke and all, Anthony says his fellow shipmates always tell him to stop using such big words. He's making a good impression of which I am very proud. 
   What's worth being even more proud is the fact that this marks Anthony's first completed year in the Navy. One year ago today my favorite person left his home and all he had to pave a new path. A path which I commend him for paving. He could have taken the easy road he was already on but he decided that wasn't challenging enough for him. He wanted to do something big. He left for boot with a somewhat positive attitude. The hotel he had to stay at before he left always feels sad when I pass it by. It reminds me of the last time he was a normal civilian like me, before he had to learn a new vocabulary, ranks, creases and folds. Though, he is not vastly different then when he left that day. He is still the same old Anthony but with a crispy uniform and a new place to live and work. When I stop and think of all that has happened in this past year it makes me thankful to be a part of this experience. From letters at boot camp, to graduations, to coming home for Christmas and surprising me at work, I wouldn't trade this for anything.
    I will miss Anthony being in Goose Creek, though. Charleston is such a nice town that I would like to visit again. I will always remember it in the light of the Navy. Now I get to see Virginia, the next chapter in the book of a sailor. I am very proud of his progress so far, despite his falling out with NNPTC. I know he was smart enough to handle the material but the rigorous landscape of the course proved too difficult. After all, that school has just been ranked above Harvard Law. Harvard! No wonder! School just isn't Anthony's forte. Now he gets to do actual Navy things. So exciting! I asked him if he would ever consider actually being a midshipman but that requires going to school again. As we learned before that is just not a good idea. While it would be nice to call him officer, have a fancier uniform and more respect, history would just repeat itself. No use in getting into another mess. All my sailor wanted was to be out on a boat, and finally the time has come. I sure hope it was everything he wanted it to be.
   I haven't had contact with Anthony for about three days now. I'm very anxious to hear how his first journey went. There are so many questions I have for him, and some news from the home front. I want to ask him about everything. How he slept, how he ate, what work he did, if they hazed him, etc. I'm just dying to know everything. I can't wait until he returns in a few days. I am surprised at how little of a reaction I'm having to this no contact. It's almost like it doesn't bother me. I don't know whether to consider this a good thing or a bad thing. It really surprises me that I don't have the urge to text him every hour or call him at night. I just live my days like this is a normal thing. Should I be more bothered that I haven't spoken to him in three days? Maybe it's the boot camp mentality coming back. I had to bear with it then then so maybe I'm just referring back to that setting.
    Aside from that, I will be patiently waiting by my phone to receive word from my sailor. I can't wait to hear all about his first time at sea!